Where slacking is a sport, reading an addiction, and underachievement a birthright
September 11, 2008 at 12:25 pm · Filed under THE PAST (02/2007-12/2010)
They had to happen on the same day.
Two years ago today was the day that my life changed forever when I had say goodbye to my beloved, Rufus Palmer. And true to The Pet Psychic’s words: “We never get over the loss of a pet. We just get used to living without them,” that’s what’s happened to me.
Unfortunately, this all happened on September 11th, which has become to Americans “The day everything changed.” For many, it’s a day of much grief and sorrow over loved ones who died. That’s where I start feeling weird. I actually say this to almost no one, because I feel trivialized when I do. To me, this day sucks because I lost the one being most dear to me that I’ve ever had-he just wasn’t a human. And I feel that for some reason, the fact that he wasn’t human makes my grief not as worthy or justified as those who lost human people in 2001. As in ‘it was ONLY a dog…’ If people only knew…
There’s a growing number of people these days who are taking a look at the world around them and deciding that they don’t want to be a part of repopulating it. There are some who are averse to children; there are some who simply value the time they have to themselves just too much to sacrifice it to raising a young version of themselves. Perhaps there are even those, and I’m probably one of them, who are trying to skip karma by not having children, knowing what hellions they themselves were while growing up. Whatever the reason, the American Dream has expanded to include those for whom the 2.4 kids just ain’t gonna happen.
That doesn’t say there’s no parental instinct there. For many, it just comes in a different form. Many articles have been written about the new ‘trend’ some people are moving to, and that is to essentially act as thought their pets were their children. And it’s true. We even refer to them as ‘our children,’ and in a lot of ways, we mean every word of that.
I’m really sorry for everyone who was affected by 9/11/01. I remember seeing it on CNN; the first airplane had hit, and the second was about to. It was one of the most surreal things I’ve ever seen. The only thought in my head was ‘our world is never going to be the same.’ And it hasn’t. But for me, it’s a hard day because I had to say goodbye forever to the one being who gave meaning to my life when I found none. And believe me, it hurts just as much.
August 7, 2008 at 4:51 pm · Filed under THE PAST (02/2007-12/2010)
I’ve often said ‘There are people who are born to lead, and there are people who are born to wait in line,’ and I believe it’s in my genetic coding to be among the former. However, it appears that the line itself is making a comeback.
I watched the line and its meaning dissolve in 1990 in Boulder, CO. Prior to that date, people would start ‘lining up’ for just about anything, usually concert tickets (OK, Grateful Dead concert tickets). They had such devoted followers that being in line for a few days became a party unto itself. Coming out of the 70′s, some bands were HUGE, and stadiums filled with people would sell out in minutes. You had better be in that line.
However, in an attempt to curb people camping out, and to keep order for those days leading up to the on sale date, the main record store in Boulder first tried this: If you were in line the night before the ticket went on sale, you’d be given a number based on their allotment, and if you got a number, you were guaranteed a ticket. Perhaps it wasn’t the best ticket, but at the very least, you were IN. Then, if there were people who didn’t get numbers from the day before or just decided to wait, if any tickets were left, they’d swoop in on like vultures once all the ‘guaranteed’ ones were sold.
The day the line died (funny that-the music died with Don McLean’s song in 1972, but the line seemed to survive) we can thank our friends at Ticketmaster. Not only could you NOT wait the night before and have bestowed upon you a ticket guaranteeing you will get what you want the next day, you couldn’t even try to make a nice new line right then and there-on the day of the show-so if you got there at 4 a.m., you’d at least be rewarded for getting up so damn early.
It was the RANDOM numbering system. This was done, of course, to discourage people from loitering around the ticket place and taking up space. NOW, it didn’t matter if you got there at 4:36 am or 9:52 am (most Ticketmaster ticket sales begin exactly at 10:00 am), the numbers were distributed randomly. Once the numbers were handed out, everyone had to change their positions in line based on whatever number they got. You could have waited there for four hours and get pushed all the way to the end of the line, or you could have traipsed in at the last moment and be standing with ticket #1 (and everyone else hating you). With no advantage to coming sooner, the line died….almost.
Oddly enough, the people who are now pining in lines are those who are waiting for the release of some GADGET. And for some reason, since this seems to be outside the auspices of TicketMaster…so far. Here you CAN wait all day, and you will be given a number corresponding to when you got there to hold what’s promised for you. You can’t camp, you have to leave when the mall closes, but you can sit in one place for days on end…waiting in line
People are waiting in line so they can BUY something? Eh? What happens three months down the road when everyone you know has the same thing? Ooooh, is the dude’s phone, for example, sooo much better because he waited in a line for hours and hours to purchase it on the first day, and this other girl spent five minutes and got the same thing three days ago? Did they add some ‘secret’ extra features for the ones who demonstrated their devotion so openly? I doubt it.
It’s kind of sad, really, that THAT’S what kids are waiting for these days. The days of nervously hoping that you’ll get in before tickets sell out, or before the GOOD seats sell out are gone; now it’s just another line to wait in…
June 19, 2008 at 1:42 pm · Filed under THE PAST (02/2007-12/2010)
For most of my life, I have been blessed weight-wise. I have been able to eat anything and everything, as much or as little, and I would not suffer from any negative ramifications. Food hasn’t really been a big ‘thing’ in my life-it’s not my friend, I don’t eat when I’m sad or happy, to celebrate or to battle depression. I have plenty of pharmaceuticals that achieve those things. So what I eat and my activity level have not been much of an issue.Until I moved here. As is known, I’m here, living a sort of controlled life in paradise, otherwise known as ‘getting back on my feet.’ Sitting around can really put on the pounds, I’ve found. Still, I’ve stayed thin doing less. I exercise. I don’t eat much. I don’t drink anymore. This should not be happening! Sadly, sitting here, watching the clock mark that my 20′s are becoming and ever more distant dream, seems to have also have brought my metabolism to a screeching halt. By nature, I’m something of a tomboy, so apparently nature thought it would be a funny joke if put all the weight I gained on my body would be just like if I were a guy. You know, the ‘apple’ shaped body, where the first place any ounce goes is right to the gut. Just like a guy. The only difference is a guy can put on a larger pair of pants, button up a bigger shirt, and he’s fine. Better than fine. He’s doing well! Just look at him-he’s not starving. A guy can be quite overweight and look just fine. They’ve got a LOT of leeway here. Women, unfortunately, don’t get off so easy. We don’t have that ‘just buy a bigger button down shirt’ option. The current fashion trends have been baby doll tops for the last several years, and they only exacerbate the problem. And you know what that does to a girl like me? It brings one thing: “THE QUESTION.”“When are you due?” Due? One look in the mirror and all of those extra pounds that makes your boyfriend/fiancé/husband a little pudgy but still cute and perfectly loveable and good looking only seems to do one thing for you. It makes you look pregnant. And for some reason, this seems to be a perfectly acceptable question for ANYONE to ask you. I know of no other question that can ruin your day so quickly. There is no good retort, no good comeback to put that person in his/her place. Really, your only defense is to say “Actually, I’m not pregnant,” and it makes the other person REALLY embarrassed. Still, it doesn’t do a whole lot for your self esteem, the masses of society thinking you’re pregnant, when the real truth is your genetic makeup just decided it liked apples more than pears. It sucks. And I’m not even overweight! I fit in the scales for my height and everything. Goodness, you’d think after the mind they gave me, all filled with who knows what but guaranteed ‘uniqueness,’ you’d think I’d get a break in the body department. I guess I did, for a while, and I’m glad in hindsight of how I looked back then. It would be one of my three genie wishes to look like that again.Oh well. It is what it is. After spending decades hating a perfectly good, useful and lithe body, I’m now here with my baby guy. Karma can be a bitch. I know I can deal with this, though. It’s not that big a deal.But still, for the sake of all apple shaped women everywhere, PLEASE, PLEASE PLEASE do not EVER ask a female when she’s ‘due’ unless she has expressly indicated that she is, in fact, pregnant. We have enough things to deal with; please do not automatically wreck our self-esteem on top of it all. It’s not nice, and, for the most part, it’s not our fault. We’re NOT lying around eating boxes of Krispy Cremes in front of the TV; we’re doing everything we can to rid ourselves of this ‘belly fat.’ We are not exactly thrilled about this situation either; however, please keep the inquisitiveness to yourself. I mean, it is a pretty nosy question to be asking in the first place, don’t you think? I am sure if one is really pregnant, you will be barraged with a discussion of due dates and stuff like that. Unless it really is that situation and we really are pregnant, however, no matter what tone you were trying to convey like ‘I was just trying to be nice,’ or ‘ I was just trying to have a conversation,’ please, just do not use it anymore. You’ll just hurt someone’s feelings and make yourself look like a fool.
April 16, 2008 at 12:56 pm · Filed under THE PAST (02/2007-12/2010)
I got into an interesting conversation with a friend recently, he’s very ‘conversive’ when talking about Tibet, a topic of which I know little. I wrote back, talking about the near impossibility of finding any sort of truly objective information, for the simple fact is we are all incluenced in one way or another by our surroundings; hence, no single interpretation of what whatever event is going on can be truly objective.
But then that led me down an interesting lane…
Really, there’s little objectivity in anyone’s life. Every day we are alive, every thing we do in that day-from the most mundane of tasks to important decisions-has an effect, perhaps one ever so slight, on us-who we are, what our beliefs are, how we see and respond to the world around us. The only way another person could even come close to understanding your view for that particular day would be if s/he were around you for that entire time, and even then, your interpretations would be likely to differ.
I think that this is why the number of friends a person has tends to dwindle over time. The people you thought would be with you forever turn out not to be because you (or they) have taken a different trajectory, and when your paths again cross, all you share are those moments from the past. Of course, it’s fun to reminisce about the ‘good ole’ days,’ but realistically, how long is that going to last? A few minutes? An hour?
That’s when I thought about the possibility of being able to test whether or not a friendship is a real and lasting one, or just a passing whim. I have two childhood friends with whom I grew up. One lives in Seattle, and one lives in Hawaii, but in Maui. Last year, we visited my friend in Seattle. I had not seen her in 3 years. Our lives now are completely different, and they have been for about the last 20 years. The experiences that we do we share are only about things that happened when we were little. However, when meeting with this person, it is if 20 years were only 20 minutes ago. Only a little attention is paid to the goofy things we used to do when we were growing up. The rest starts where it does and takes off. It’s always been that way. I know that years may pass before our paths cross again, but when they do, it will seem like nothing. It’s like that with my friend on Maui as well. Our friendship stands time’s testing.
I think about all of the people I’ve met and all the people who I really thought I would be friends with forever and ever, and how much it hurt when they went away and I felt abandoned. Yet in this light, I can understand that was meant to be that way. Though there was a group with whom I spent years of traveling and new them all extremely well, those days are long gone. It would be cool to see them in a reunion type gathering for a day, but really, all we share is a specified amount of time in our past. For a friendship to survive, there has to be more; it can’t be described, it’s a sort of substance of timelessness. Ive realized that though my handfuls of friends have whittled down to one hand (with room), these are the people who will always be there for me. No, though they probably probably don’t understand me, and it’s likely we have very different tastes in everything from food to books, I know that these are the ones who are there for me, and I for them, until the very end. It’s like we share a spiritual bond rather than a superficial one, something that is greater than can be understood, and to know and feel that brings great comfort to me.
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