Attack of the killer Christmas cards
I am not entirely thrilled today. No, it’s not the traffic or the crowds or anything like that, it’s not even the gaudy decorations on some houses. That’s all well and good. Except for one thing.
The Christmas Cards
Ok, I get the idea of sending out christmas cards on a personal level to let people know you’re thinking about them and let them know you hope they’re doing well and all that. However, when dealing with these folded pieces of paper in an office setting, it’s just a mess.
First, the number. We send out 550 Christmas cards to people. That’s $225.50. A drop in the bucket for large corporations. However, the number of process required to get these things from receiving to sending, you’d think we’re making a John Deer combine there are so many steps.
The Christmas card list is the most important thing and must not be lost. It contains all of the names of the people to whom we’re going to send these items of joy. Labels must be made, and they must be neat, because if one of the managers doesn’t like how the label looks, you’re making another one. All of the cards then have to be stuffed into their envelopes, but half of the card must remain open and out of the envelope so they can be signed by specific people who worked with that company this year. We were really fortunate this year because two relatively important people had nothing to do one day, and rather than cruise their favorite websites, they asked if there was anything they could do. So with cards inside envelopes, the labels must be affixed upon them. THEY MUST REMAIN IN ORDER or the whole thing will fall apart and it’ll be anarchy out there.
Now we have the card in the envelope, the envelope addressed and they’re sorted. All that remains is signing them. This is the part about which I am not entirely thrilled because here at my lowly reception desk, I’ve learned that when these cards are received by the place they’re supposed to go to, the person who reads exactly WHO signed each card is one person-someone like me. And I don’t care. However, the managers have a VERY different opinion of this; this is an important task because some of these recipients are IMPORTANT and help keep us in business. The overall feeling is that this person is going to open this card him/herself and is going to scrutinize everyone who signed it, and if someone didn’t sign it, well such a blatant show of disrespect would prevent that recipient from EVER wanting conduct business with our company again.
The other element to this is that the people who are the most reticent about signing these silly cards are the managers, and they’re the ones who believe this whole ‘thing’ is so important. It seems to me like a sign to the office “I am so important, and what I do is so crucial to the existence of this office that no one’s going to tell me when I’m going to sign them. I’m faaaaaaarrrr too busy right now.
The deadline has passed, and all through the office, all that remains is to take the cards BACK OUT and put the WHOLE thing in, sealing them, and posting them. Fortunately our mail machine seals them while it takes $.41 out of our balance. I put a big box on the floor, ran them through, and when they started falling down, into the box they went, unordered, in chaos and anarchy so there would be no going back had a name suddenly come up. I finished, found the cost of our cards from out of the country, posted them, took the box downstairs, and AT THAT EXACT MOMENT, the mail guy was there with a PERFECT amount of space to hold my box of cards. They were on their way.
In the last week, about 30 have come back due to incorrect address. We get a lot of cards here today now from other places, but 90% of them aren’t addressed to anyone in particular like ours were. I’ve made a show of this by posting them all on this bulletin board in the kitchen, as if to say “SEE? You guys are wasting a ton of your (and MY) time, when the reality is that people JUST DON’T CARE when it comes to these stupid cards.” In fact, most of our cards come to people who don’t even work here anymore. Also, breakthroughs in science have made it possible that the cards arrive PRE-SIGNED in that person’s handwriting! It even looks pretty real.
What this all comes down to is this: I know, I am FIRMLY aware, believe me, that I am the lowest person on the totem pole that is this office. I know that half my job involves nothing more than appearing busy. And I’m fine with that. I’m fine with doing work with the higher people. I’d love to help out in whatever capacity (even though I just took and passed my exam to become a certified project manager which has brought little success in getting me off this desk). Because I know that trivial as it may seem, sitting here doing nothing IS contributing a SMALL (oh so tiny) part in the betterment of society. I help give them the room to get their more important work done so they have one less thing to think about. However, these stupid cards have NO purpose, they take up a TON of time, in the process you all treat me as if I’m useless, deaf, and mentally challenged, you’re rude, and a lot of times downright mean. And it’s over a fucking CARD for God’s sake! Even if most of what I do is pretty unimportant, I just can’t stand with doing something that’s downright USELESS. And that’s what this was.
Fortunately, time has passed, the cards have been dealt with, and I only have 2 1/2 days before vacation. Hells yeah.
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