Wednesday is the New Monday

October 15, 2007 at 11:49 am · Filed under Banging My Head Against A Wall, Random Musings, Uncategorized, Work

It’s a known and a given that Mondays suck.  Everyone walks around in a sort of zombie-ish state, repeating endlessly “It’s Monday,” as though if the constant repetition of the obvious will somehow make things better.  Or maybe it’s part of affirming your belonging to the tribal unconscious-saying something like that thus confirms your alliance with all of the other people who are mooing like cows about the same thing…you’re bitching, I’m bitching, we have a bond! 

I have been studying this for a while now, and I really have to respectfully disagree with this adage.  Wednesday is WAY worse than Monday.  Hear me out.  When you walk in the door to work on a Monday, yes, there are many other things you’d probably rather be doing (who are we kidding?  There’s ONE thing you’d rather be doing, and that is SLEEPING), but for the first few hours at least, your mind and body is in such shock over being so brutally ripped away from our blissful slumber that you’re more in a state of confusion rather than anger.  Though repeated day in and out, Monday brings a slight bit of newness in returning back to the workplace routine, seeing the people you haven’t seen in a whole two days, and trying to figure what you were supposed to do with the stuff that you dropped into a pile as you ran away from it at full speed the moment the clock struck 5pm.  By the time you have gotten through all of this, several hours of your day have elapsed, and you haven’t even noticed it.

This is not the case on Wednesdays.

“But Wednesday is hump day!” some perky coworker proclaims.  “The week is halfway gone!”  Oh shut up.

When you’re at Monday, the days extend out from you like an endless line, the end of which you will never see.  It’s just too overwhelming.  You’re in the middle of the Sahara desert, and you will NEVER see the end of it.  Because of this, you don’t think about it.  You can’t think about it.  To think about it would throw you in an endless black hole depression from which you could never emerge.  There’s enough about Monday that is nervewracking; the end of the week is the last thing on your mind. 

But Wednesdays, by then you’ve put in some time.  You may still be in the desert, but waaaaaaayyyyyy off in the distance you can see a dot, and that dot will ultimately become the lovely and beautiful oasis known as the weekend.  Still, on Wednesdays, it’s still sooooo far, and you just want to punch everyone who gets all cheerful about ‘ooh, it’s the middle of the week!’  You have not accomplished anything yet.  You still have to get through at least until noon of that day before you can even say you’re halfway through, and when you think about how long it has taken you to get to that exact spot, you realize that is precisely how long you STILL must endure before you can taste the sweet nectar of freedom. 

So you see-Monday, you’re stunned; Wednesdays, you’re just bummed.  Relatively speaking, you know how time slows as you approach the speed of light?  This principle also seems to apply as the workweek progresses.   

But this is just me, and I’m cynical and jaded and am most definitely a ‘work to live’ person rather than a ‘live to work’ one.  If you find yourself in the latter category, and you’re getting up before the alarm goes off on Monday because you’re so excited to be a productive and useful member of society, please disregard this rant.  Honestly, you are the ones who I envy, and I would really love to be one of you.  Maybe I will someday.  Until that happens, I’ll be sitting here stunned on Monday and cranky on Wednesdays.

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