GenXPosterChild






Where slacking is a sport, reading an addiction, and underachievement a birthright

Archive for June, 2007

Google Helps 30-Somethings With Getting Older

Hi, my name is Sarah, and I’m single, and I’m “30 Something.”  Specifically, I have 13 days left before I can choose to be honest about certain numbers in my life (such as age) or I can go the route of Charlotte from “Sex in the City.”  You know, where they’re all together discussing her birthday and she bravely says “I’m going to stick at 35.” 

Yes, in less than two weeks, I am either going to be 6 squared, or I’m going to be 35 (wink-wink).  Every year since I turned 29, without fail, the month of June has been incredibly difficult and dramatic and tragic for me as this whole cloud of “you’re getting older, you’re getting older, you’re still single, you’re going to lose out to your younger competition,…” starts going through my brain like a broken record.  Oh, for those of you who were born later, a record is this usually black disc like thing with a hole in it where you would put the hole in the center of this machine called a ‘record player.’  The record player would spin around at a set amount of revolutions per minute-full records spun at 33 1/3 rpm, and for single records which tended to have a bigger hole, it was usually 45 rpm.  Most record players’ needles were set to come off the record when finished, but some got stuck on a scratch, some were set to go right back to the start, but needless to say, there would be times when you’d hear the same line, verse, or even song over and over and OVER and OVER until it was so imprinted in your head that you thought you were going to die if you heard that song again.

So being born exactly six months into the year, the month of June approaches and the thoughts start coming.  You’re single, you’re in a dead end job, you’re getting heavier, you won’t be able to compete with the younger girls (and you sadly reminisce about when you used to BE one of those lithe younger people.  How could you have been so dumb as to think you’d stay that way forever?), and to quote Stuart Smalley from SNL, you’re going to end up being  ‘homeless and penniless and  overweight with no one to ever love you.” 

But not this year.  If you have Google as your homepage, you can personalize it with iGoogle, which lets you make your own homepage from  a number of pre-formatted things.  You can get CNN and People Headlines.  You can play hangman.  You can see what stage the moon is in.  You can put the dictionary in there.  However, the coolest thing for me has been “Countdown.”  With Countdown you enter a date of importance (say Arbor Day or Flag Day or they day you have scheduled to give your cat a bath), and it counts it down for you.  So right now, I have 13 days or 303 hours, 02 minutes, and 18 seconds left.  For some reason, I don’t know why, it has totally taken away all of the angst I usually feel about this time of the year.  I’m not kidding.  36?  Bring it on.  I love numbers that are squares of other numbers.  So if you’re one of those who gets relatively stressed out and sad about the fact that time is going by and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change it, get the Countdown add-on.  It’ll give you something to cheer FOR rather than something to dread.