Writing when you have nothing to bitch about…
The biggest problem I’ve always faced in my writing was the fact that when things are going well, I feel I have little to talk about. I’ve gone through journals and journals, have hundreds of pages of material written-and it’s all when I’ve been down. In a heartbeat I’ll write my woes, sadnesses, and frustrations, but when things go RIGHT it’s almost as if I’m magnetically repelled from getting to the computer to write about it. Does that mark me as a pessimist only seeing the glass full? I don’t think so. I think this is actually quite a common phenomena. It does help the writer process the pain or anger which they’re experiencing, true, but let’s face it, it’s just easier. There are so many things in this world that piss me off, hence writing about them is no real challenge.
And in a way, that’s what’s kept me away from here, coupled with the fact that my normal life has suddenly gotten a lot busier. Work I feel I’ve written enough about, so today we’re veering from that topic into the rest of my life, ie the part of my life that actually matters.Â
May has been a month of a lot of changes. In these last two weeks:
1. I have moved.
2. Dale has joined me and we’re seeing what it’s like to live together. Sadly it’s not to be a permanent situation, but we’ll take what we can get, even if it is for only a couple months.
3. WE GOT A KITTEN!!!
On a lunch hour trek to the Humane Society (which here in Oahu is AWESOME), we raced each other (I was in the car, he on his Yamaha R6) through traffic and got there. I’d been online, so I knew of a few of the felines there, but when we got there, there was this lone little kitten, a calico with white legs, small meow, and rumbling purr. We knew in seconds that she was ours. We raced to the adoption sign up sheet to put our names down to make sure no one could keep her from us. We spent some more time with our soon to be daughter as well as visited the other temporary inhabitants. We talked to either a staff member or a volunteer, and it was heartwarming to hear that most cats don’t spend a lot of time there, that all of them generally get adopted at some point (kittens obviously go faster than older cats). What was best to hear was that unless the cat was in the grip of a life-taking illness, they don’t euthanize. I was psyched to hear that. We chatted a bit, said goodbye to our new one whom we were going to pick up after work.
And then we went to see the dogs.
I haven’t written about it, though I’ve meant to, on the subject of Rufus Palmer. Rufus Palmer was my golden retriever who I had since he was 7 weeks old until he left at 7 1/2. We lived in Vermont from 1999-2005. I broke up with my boyfriend I was living with in 2000, so Rufus and I spent 5 years and 5 long harsh winters together, just the two of us. He’s the longest boyfriend I ever had, and he literally saved my life by giving me a reason to live when I thought none existed. When everything crashed and my family rescued me, they knew he came as part of the package, and my parents weren’t exactly animal people, let alone a 100lb one. But in no time, they took to him as much as I did, and within just a year my mother, who has always disliked animals, was just about as close to her ‘grand-dog’ as I was. We all went through a lot of stress over bringing him here and jumping through the Dept. of Agriculture quarantine hoops and the fear of him travelling on a plane, but we made it. We walked on the beach all the time. He didn’t really like the waves. We were here less than 3 months before he began developing tumors which turned out to be cancerous. He had to have a toe amputated. Within a month, we had to say goodbye to him. It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to go through, and even now, over 8 months later, I’m a wreck writing this. I’m crying and my heart is breaking all over again-again, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over him.  Because it all happened so fast right after moving here, I do carry resentment at this place, this island, for he was fine before we moved and had never had any problems.  He was such a light in my life, and he was the glue that brought our family together. He was just so beautiful and amazing and I feel very privileged that from 7 weeks until 7 1/2 years, I got to spent almost 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with him (except for 2005).
The dogs were in really nice kennels, which made me happy. So many different breeds, big and small, loud and quiet. Being around dogs has not been easy for me since losing Rufus Palmer, but it was great to just give them some attention and love that I’m sure they were very happy to receive.
We went back to our jobs, and in the remaining afternoon hours, we went about the arduous task of deciding on a name for our little daughter-to-be. IMming back and forth, we threw out suggestions, and decided on Daisy, but am really big on midle names, so for some reason I suggested Peanut. I have absolutely no reason WHY, I just liked it, and so did Dale. The name turned out to suit her perfectly.
So this month, it’s been a lot less posting because we’ve become parents! Daisy Peanut is a little fireball of energy (especially around 3:30 am) who has become a hilarious addition to our world. Having an animal in ones life is so important, not just for the unconditional love and such, but to have someone outside of yourself to take care of. Having that can save a life. I can say this with authority because having Rufus Palmer saved mine. Even though it still is extremely difficult to let Rufus go, having Daisy actually has helped me a lot with healing that sadness.
And without further delay, may we present the fair Miss Daisy Peanut!
                  
                     
                   
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